The Myopic Moose

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The Greek Landlady of New Haven— Day One

Life in Greek Landlady House……..

Day One

Greek Landlady suns herself in the window, her white mumu gleaming. I pour myself another cup of coffee only to find her squinting up at my face.

“If you fix your hairs you look better. I have never to worry bout this. I always have attractive. All my life! I have many, many lovers, all beautiful. I am Greek, I love the beauties, you know?”

Filed under greek landlady beauty dating lovers foreign

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I Got 99 (first world) Problems So I’ll Bitch About One, Or Several

I have a zit inside my nostril. Got a flat tire. Just spent my last 77 cents on a bag of rice. My ferret has diarrhea. Some asshole (…a landscaper) has been riding a lawn mower outside my apartment for 39 minutes.

I can’t say “Could be worse, could be raining” because it IS in fact raining. But I can say, “we’ll always have Paris.” Or the French will always have Paris. And at least I’ve never been in a pie like Sir Hudson.

Filed under bitch first world problems could be worse bad day zit nostril broke ferret diarrhea lawn mower raining paris casablanca quote dwarf pie lol funny absurd funny grave wtf

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Dumbo Octopus

(image taken from

No, I’m not being mean, that’s their common name. And you can kind of see why with their “ear” fins, they look like that crazy flying elephant, Dumbo. These creatures even appear to fly around underwater like Dumbo flies in the movie.

Dumbo Octopuses are very rare and not much is known about them. 18 different species have been discovered thus far. The largest specimen recorded was 6 feet long and 13 pounds. They can live up to 23,000 feet underwater, deeper than any other octopus. They hover over the ocean floor looking for crustaceans to eat. Dumbo Octopuses also swallow their prey whole, which is unusual for an octopus. In terms of mating, the females are primed and ready year round and the males are thought to impregnate her through their enlarged arm-penis.

Check out this video. No, not of them having sex. Just watch it swim, perv.

Filed under octopus dumbo octopus deep sea animals bizarre animal ocean deep sea fish